Hope, a simple four letter word that has a lot of meaning, a lot of power. Hope, it is what my girlfriend gives me. At one point in my life, I lost all hope, hope was a word without any meaning but every since that Wednesday at Starbucks, Hope is all that i've had, hope that things will get better, with her they do. Hope that I can survive another day without a suicide attempt, I have. Hope that maybe someone can actually care, commit and make me feel like the only girl in the world, with her that is what I get. With her hope rings strong in my mind. She gives me the hope that fairy tales are real, that love actually exisit. That two people can become one in this world, two people can devote so much time and energy into each other and not have a terrible end. With her, I get so much more than I could have ever asked for, with her everything is so different. I talked about moving in with girls in the past but that was plans for a few years away, if we actually made it through things, with her, I want her to be the girl that I kiss good night every night, the one that I wake up to and kiss good morning, make breakfast for, the girl that I tell everything to, the girl that when I have a bad day, I know that it wont end badly because that night I will fall asleep in her arms. I actually couldnt see myself with anyone else in the entire world, I dont think anyone is as worth it as her. I dont think I have ever thought anyone was actually worth it, because with her I dont ever want to give up, I was put to the test over the weekend, the chance to walk away and blame something that she was or wasnt going to do, it was the escape route and look here I am telling you all that I want to live with her, I want to spend all the time I can with her. I want to just be around her all the time. Not one girl before have I wanted to spend every day with, normally I am like bitch please I saw you two days in a row, no need to see you today. But with her, it hurts not to see her every day, with her I want to just see her even if its only for minutes, it would be better than going an entire day without her. It would be better than not seeing her smile at all that day. She gives me these feelings that I cant even explain. I wish I could because than the world could read what she does to me but I guess the love I feel for her will just have to stay indescribable. This girl has got me hooked, and I hope that we both never let go. She means the world to me, she has given me life, she has given me the ability to breathe without it hurting. I hope I give her hope for better days, I hope that I mean just a fraction to her of what she means to me. I hope that I give her feelings that no one else has given her. I hope that this this love of ours last a lifetime because without her, life would have no meaning. That is what she does to me, she gives me a reason to live, she gave me life with a meaning. She makes it easier to stay alive and be on this planet. She is amazing. She is so much more than anyone could ever see. She is everything and more.
I love you baby.
-Nikki. <3
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